Here’s a lesson that I learned in my twenties but did not learn how to put it into words until my thirties.
Don’t trust anyone who complains about their time being wasted. People who tell you that they put X amount of work into something and that they are upset that it didn’t work out or that another person’s plan was chosen and implemented. I don’t mean people who are frustrated. It is okay to get frustrated and think, “this was a waste of my time.” I mean the people who regularly accuse people of wasting their time for one reason or another. Don’t trust those people.
Here’s why.
People who complain about their time being wasted are people who are used to getting their way. People who never learned that sometimes, you work really hard at something and it just doesn’t work out.
Guess what guys. Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes you do your absolute best and work really hard only to find out that it just isn’t right or enough or whatever. That doesn’t mean your time was wasted. Trying, is never a waste of time.
I’ve been thinking recently about the fact that I don’t have my masters degree. I kind of want one, or a doctorate. If I had a doctorate, I would insist on being called Doctor. Both of my parents have masters degrees and my brother’s IQ can’t actually be accurately measured, I feel left out being just above average. But, alas, I do not have one, not for lack of trying.
A couple of years after earning my bachelors degree I tried to go for my masters in writing. I thought it would open some doors, or be a little more exciting than what I was doing at the time. I spent hours and hours working on different applications, and quite a bit of money on application fees. One application in particular took me more than a week to put together all of the pieces. I would say I probably put 100 hours into it, maybe more. I did not get into that program.
I did get into a different program, one in England.
Oh man, I was stoked! I did everything I possibly could to get ready. I arranged to go a month in advance and volunteer with a missions organization while I adjusted to being in a different part of the world. I spent hours working on and submitting my visa application. I was super prepared. I put as much work into as I possibly could.
Then I got on the plane.
While I was flying out, literally on the plane with only hours before arriving, my volunteer opportunity, which included my housing for the month, went away. I landed in London without a place to go.
The exact next thing that happened was I spoke with my advisor and discovered that my visa was wrong, and I could not do the program without the correct visa.
I spent the next month trying to fix my visa and steadily learning that I could not correct my visa without physically leaving the country. We’re talking about days of my life. Weeks, if you include the entire application process. Then, on the day I would have started the program, I flew home and did not get my masters degree that year.
Talk about a colossal waste of time. That is, if you consider trying and failing a waste of time.
Trying is never a waste of time.
That is what people who complain about their time being wasted are forgetting. Our efforts are not just about getting our way, or seeing our work come to fruition. If we try our best and put our best effort into it, it is not a waste of time to fail. People who did not learn that are people who are used to getting their way and I don’t trust people who see the world through the lens of success or waste.
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