I used to believe that the Fraud Police were just a voice in my head. An unfortunate side effect of imposter syndrome filtering into my life and everything I do. The sour milk feeling that no matter what, I am not doing enough, I am not good enough, I don’t belong in the seats I occupy.
I also used to believe that it was a problem that only manifested in my life as an artist and writer. Something that I could overcome by simply tapping myself on the head over and over with my own magic wand of legitimacy.
It turns out, I was wrong.
Let me clarify. The fraud police definitely exist in your head and you had better hang on to that magic wand of legitimacy because you need to tap that voice away pretty regularly. That’s not the only fraud police you have to worry about. The self-appointed fraud police are also out there and no amount of tapping your magic wand against your own head is going to silence their voices.
The self-appointed fraud police exist everywhere. They might be a coworker, an employee, a nosey neighbor, a volunteer, anyone who chooses to wield some sort of “authority” to track down and stop all of the frauds in their lives.
The self-appointed fraud police are the people in your life who believe you do not deserve the position you hold or that your authority is getting in the way of them getting what they want. So, they point and shout and jeer that you are not good enough. That you are doing it wrong. They tell you and everyone around you that you don’t belong. You are not qualified and an obstacle that needs to be removed.
That’s when you need your magic wand of legitimacy most of all.
Tapping your magic wand on the top of your head over and over is not going to silence the outsider’s voice. You need to cast some sort of shield.
Protego!
Muffliato!
To keep their words and accusations at bay as you remind yourself that you have that position for a reason. You are enough.
But that probably does not feel like enough, and you are right. When the voices exist outside of your head you are not the only one who can hear it. You are not the one they expect to be listening. The self-appointed fraud police’s mission, whether they are aware that they are doing it or not, is to expose you as the fraud they believe they have found. And you cannot stop them, there’s nothing you can do.
That’s why you have to hold on to that magic wand. That’s why it is so important to tap yourself on the head over and over saying, “I am qualified. I am enough. I am…” Because, the only way to fight the fraud police is to keep walking, keep working, and prove to everyone else that the accusations are unfounded. You are more than enough.
It is so tempting to target your anger back at the self-appointed fraud police and hurl an unforgivable curse or two their way. To fight them and push them out of your way. That is not how you will defeat them. Engaging with the fraud police only proves that you’ve been listening.
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