Endometriosis changed my life in a lot of different ways. I have to think pretty carefully about what I pack when I go on a trip, and packing light is starting to feel impossible as I survey the items that I “might” need laid out next to my bags. I am much more aware of what is going on in my body than I ever was before 2017, and let me tell you, I can tell you exactly what is happening in my body on a minute to minute basis. I am also much more aware of my brain and the way my brain and body, my physical and mental health, are intertwined. There are many other things that I do not have to bore you with. The thing that has, probably, most notably changed are my choices in fashion. A while back my roommate at the time told me excitedly that a local shop was having a sale on crop tops because, as she said it, crop tops and high waisted pants really seemed to be my aesthetic. Well, aesthetics are not always the first function of my fashion choices, though she was right that those were what I wore most often.
I made the change to high-waisted pants and shorts from the hip huggers that were popular during my youth just after my surgery. I had found, leading up to it that the average height of jeans hit my stomach in exactly the spot where I store my pain. After the surgery that issue became worse, as they rested exactly on my surgery scar. I also discovered harem pants, or elephant pants, or shalwar, or salwar, or thai pants, depending on what you want to call them, while shopping at a store that always makes me feel like the least cool person ever. Comfortable, high-waisted, linen pants with bright colors and patterns. I loved them and as soon as I discovered them, they were all I wanted to wear. They were comfortable and never bothered my endometriosis or the places where a surgeon had had to open up my body in order to give me the answers we both needed.
The only problem with discovering and falling in love with harem pants, was figuring out how to wear them in real life and still be able to take myself seriously. It took a bit of time to really figure it out. The journey included a some research on cultural appropriation, and a lot of time looking at various fashion blogs, and trying on different pairs of shoes before finally learning how to wear the pieces that I wanted and also look the way “my aesthetic” demanded.
So, here is how I incorporated this Bohemian Chic look into my real life and still managed to take myself seriously.
1) Remember that you can wear whatever you want, most people are looking at their phones anyway.
Okay, this is important to remember. Fewer people are actually looking at us than we think. We also live in a culture that carries around screens in their pockets that we are obsessed with. Everyone is looking at their phone. So, do whatever you want. Dress how you want. I am not the center of anyone’s universe, except my own. Which means that nobody else’s thoughts of me matter much and that most people are not even thinking about me and what I am wearing.
2) Choose your colors and patterns carefully.
I am a little weird about colors and patterns. If I wear colorful or patterned pants I like to wear a more subdued top. I also do not like to wear black jeans with a black top. I like things to be a little varied. So my nice bright linen pants are usually worn with something black or dark blue or other nice solid color that works with the patterned pants you’ve selected. I prefer crop tops because they make me feel thin and I get to show off more of the pattern. Be careful doing that though because in some cultures wearing shalwar without the appropriate length top is basically the same as wearing your underwear in public. That’s right, Princess Jasmine is basically wearing her underwear in public for the length of Disney’s Aladdin.
Take away, pick a few colors and patterns that you like and find something subdued that goes with it. In winter add a cardigan.
3) Think shoes.
Okay. Shoes. I wear boots, exclusively, until I can get away with wearing sandals, then I wear sandals. That is who I am, and it works for me. And it works for wearing harem pants. Sandals always work great with flowy linen pants. It is a nice beachy and summery look. Boots are a little harder. I prefer knee high boots, usually brown. If you wear boots with harem pants you should choose a pair of pants that are tighter on the legs and with less of a drop crotch, think something closer to normal pants than what you see in the live-action Aladdin movie. I think it gives off a kind of 1920s explorer vibe, which is a look that I can take seriously since my whole lifestyle is based on my desire to be a combination of 1920s explorer meets Malibu Barbie.
Really though, if you want to take yourself seriously in any piece of fashion the trick is to just stop taking yourself seriously. Find pieces that you like and that look good together and do your thing, live your life. I have always personally looked up to two pop-culture icons to figure out how to dress and how to be unashamedly myself, Miss Piggy and the Queen of Fashion herself, Barbie. I think, that if they wanted to wear harem pants as a true fashion statement, they would and they would look fabulous and you should too.
