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Writer's pictureKatrina J. Daroff

Aimless

Updated: Jan 4, 2021

(As honest of a post as I can write about how I feel aimless)

A friend said to me once, "all hikes in Washington lead to overlooks and viewpoints. All hikes in the Midwest lead to waterfalls." I don't know how true his statement was since most of the hiking I have done has been in California, and those hikes mostly led to abandoned mines. But it isn't really the destination of the hike that we go hiking for, is it? When I go hiking I actually spend very little time at the destination. Usually I get to the spot, have a seat, drink some water and then go back. It is the journey of the hike that matters.


It's the same with books. The joy of reading a book is about the journey of the book, not reaching that last paragraph or telling people you read the book before the movie came out. You take the journey with the characters and enjoy it without worrying about where the book is going, unless it is a mystery novel and you're only reading to find out whodunnit.


So why don't I feel the same way about my life? Why don't I take the time to enjoy getting where I am going without worrying about my direction and where each of these steps is going to take me? Why does feeling aimless destroy the joy of a moment and a journey?


Because when you sit down to read or step onto a trail to take a hike you know you are going somewhere!


When you sit down to read a book or step out onto a trail you know that it is going to take you somewhere, even if you have no idea what you are going to see and experience on the trip and, usually you are pretty sure it is somewhere you want to go. Every journey we take is going to take us somewhere. We know that, even when we don't know what destination we are heading toward. Feeling aimless we still know we are going somewhere but not if that place is somewhere we want to go.


I have been feeling aimless in my life and it stresses me out. Every time I try to turn a direction toward where I think want to go I get blocked. I know that I do not want to go to where the path I am on will most likely lead me but I do not know where I am going or how to get onto a different path. I cannot enjoy the journey I am on because I don't know that where I am going is a place I want to be. I do not know if it is a waterfall, or a lake, a glacier, or a dingy alleyway, I don't know if I am packed right, and I don't know if it will be worth the difficult journey to get there. I don't know!


I can imagine that I am not the only person who ever feels this way.


So, what can you do? What can I do?


Instead of trying to change my destination all at once I'm trying to change my steps. Just one step at a time. I don't know if it will change my destination but it should make each step of my journey a little better? Won't it?

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