All right boys. Lean in close. I’m going to tell you a secret. Don’t go blabbing it all over the internet, this is highly classified information. They could kick me out just for thinking about telling you this secret.
Okay, here goes.
Girl Scouts encounter Bigfoot more often than any other organization but are sworn to keep all sightings secret as part of their sacred Girl Scout oath.
Wait… no… that’s a different secret. Forget you read that. This secret is about how to win a girl’s heart.
Okay, confession time. I don’t actually have a list of five ways to win a girl’s heart because there is no formula for making someone fall in love with you. Science says there are ways to increase the odds of someone falling in love with you, but even those have no real guarantee. If you really want to win a girl’s heart, you don’t have to do any complicated math or follow any scientific steps. What you have to do is get to know that girl and take interest in the things that interest her. So, here is a list of five ways you can get to know a girl better and increase your odds of actually being the person who can win her heart.
(Note, I’m working my way through a series of writing prompts and this is the one I’m on to. I don’t actually recommend anyone listen to me on dating for any reason.)
1) Books
Okay, here is a real secret. Most of us don’t even know this about ourselves. Things like favorite books and characters in those books tell people a lot about who we are. We usually see something we identify in ourselves or admire and want to be like in our favorite characters. Our favorite books speak to us in ways that we don’t know how to express. If someone tells you that something is their favorite book, pay attention to that. She might not even realize that she is telling you something incredibly personal. Pay attention to which characters she says is her favorite and the relationship in the story that makes her hug the book tight to her chest. If you pay attention to those things, you are going to see what she connects to and what she looks for in a relationship.
If you want to win a girl’s heart then those are details you need to pay attention to.
2) Direct and confident.
This really should have been the first bullet point but I was excited about talking about books and got distracted.
This is important so turn on your reading eyes (those are like your listening ears but for reading a blog post instead of listening to a lecture). IF YOU LIKE A GIRL BE DIRECT AND CONFIDENT. That means actually ask her out and make a plan. Don’t ask her if she wants to hang out. Ask her on a date.
You do not win anything if you don’t actually play.
He who never takes risks never gets to drink champagne.
Okay, here’s the real take away for this bullet point. Most girls actually know it when a guy they are friends with is interested in her and likely to start complaining about “the friend zone.” They do. When they become aware of that they might even pull away or ghost those “friends” because it is uncomfortable to be put in that situation without an opportunity to communicate with them directly.
So, if you meet a girl and like her be direct and ask her out. Make your intentions known. Do not try to play the long con of becoming friends. Be intentional and give her the chance to be direct and intentional with you.
Note, if she tells you no and you still want to be friends then you can be friends but only if you respect her wishes.
3) Spend time with her and listen to what she has to say.
This is equally as important as paying attention to what books she likes. If you want to actually have a relationship with a girl, you should probably spend actual time with her. If you don’t spend time together, you don’t have a relationship, you have a label. Here’s the thing though, if you want to “win a girl’s heart” you have to actually know her and listen to the things she has to say. When people are talking they usually tell you about their interests and their history which are kind of important things to knowing who they are.
4) Make a plan.
Remember how I said in bullet point two that you have to actually ask a girl out in order to make her fall in love with you? (important reminder: you cannot MAKE someone fall in love with you) Well, part of that is making an actual plan. Plan a real date, maybe even use some of those interests you listened to her talk about in bullet point three. Do not plan a couch date. Make a real plan. It shows that you are excited to spend time with her (and you should be). Added bonus, making a plan shows some of who you are and a girl who wants to go out with you also wants to know who you are.
The thesis statement of this blog post, you may have noticed, is that the best way to win a girl’s heart is to actually know her and show interest in her interests. Girls are humans and humans like being shown that they are cared about as individuals.
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